I am learning fast that it is crucial when navigating change, or multiple scene changes, to be soft and gentle on yourself throughout. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or little, intermittent or fixed, long or short-term change. If you can find some softness in your approach to yourself and how you are feeling during this period then it will flow through into creating a more successful transition.
Every one of us has to deal with change and often on a very regular basis. Sure, we may all move house every once in a while, and the statistics show this is one of the most ‘stressful’ things we can do. Moving is certainly a biggie, but what about the other, less radical changes? For example, have you noticed or experienced;
The Friday night to Sunday night journey and the inevitable sinking feeling as Monday morning looms! Some of us are working where we want to be, and some of us are not. Even those with dream jobs sometimes feel the Sunday night vibe. It can be coming back from a super holiday or returning to work after an incredible weekend. Not all of us have the perfect balance of work and play sussed.
A shift in energy at home when a partner departs or returns from being away. While you are so excited to see them again, it can be frustrating when your routine gets changed. The washing pile doubles, the house appears messy, there is an extra voice to consider, and extra dynamics to navigate.
A huge empty nest when kids embark on their own journeys away from home. Whether that be little ones starting school, or big ones leaving for university. Even though you are super proud of them, know they are their own people, and you have your own busy life, there is still a sense of loss to overcome with the change of energy and routine.
Seasonal changes. We are all connected strongly with the earth; we feel and react to the seasons. Are you aware of how much they influence your wellbeing, your mood, your energy? Losing an hour or gaining an hour; the change of light, temperature and colour, have an impact on how we feel. It takes a moment of awareness to appreciate how the changes affect us personally.
Physical changes, regardless of age or sex. This is another inevitable change where our bodies and our minds do not stand still. When do we take a moment to become aware of how this may be impacting us?
The list is endless.
I write about this because I have noticed how, in between big and obvious changes like moving, there are all sorts of other shifts going on which often go unrecognised.
While I am well equipped and experienced in being spontaneous, living in the moment and taking risks, I am also aware that I sometimes take a while to adjust from one moment to the next. In this moment of adjustment, tasks, work and thoughts can easily feel overwhelming, and somewhat negative. It’s during the moment of adjustment that I am most vulnerable to self-doubt, negative chatter, and wanting to hide and give up. It’s in these moments of adjustment that I can lose my cool, my flow, my breath and my grounding. It’s not really surprising that it can take a tiny bit of time to adjust between scenes and that often we are totally unaware of how we are communicating this energy, this vulnerability outwardly, possibly even leading us to struggle and bicker with loved ones. Is it any wonder that at times we may think about taking the easy path, or running and hiding?
Moving backwards and forwards between countries and homes will undoubtedly open up countless new opportunities and growth. But only with huge self-awareness, softness, love and compassion towards myself will I be able to navigate myself and my family through the increased number of adjustment periods. By looking at this differently I can help myself shift un-serving patterns. By recognising that we are nearly always in a period of flow, of movement and energy exchange no matter where we are or what we are doing. In-fact transition is one of the hardest thing to crack in a yoga practice or many other sports, the start of a race, the dive into water, the jump or turn. We often forget our current present state and focus too far, striving for the destination, the perfect pose, but what is proven time and time again and is fundamental to success, is how are we getting there.
To help me navigate this more effectively, I plan to proactively practice the following steps. To those of you who are with me and following this journey of transition, I call on you to keep me accountable! And if you are going through significant change yourself, please join me in using this approach
Plan to manage successful scene changes:
Keep reminding myself of my reasons WHY. My anchors, my ideal scene, my vision. Keep it relevant, keep it near, make it visible, create reminders (daily, weekly, monthly)
Proactively and frequently connect with my core values.
Document even brief moments of vulnerability. Acknowledge what it felt like, and what actions I took to navigate through.
When the wave of adjustment is reaching surge point, take three deep breaths and notice what is happening, mentally and physically. Shake it out if necessary.
Take an action to pause and get outside. Walk, even if briefly, in fresh air and connect with breath.
Notice all thoughts, assumptions and get slippery of mind. Let the unhelpful ones pass, capture the good ones. Be my own self-perpetuating dream catcher.
Ask for feedback and remember to TRUST in the journey.
Proactively create space around the adjustment surges to enable pressure points to be handled effectively. For example, if landing late at night, keep the morning free to re-stock the fridge, collect the dog, and plan for the week without carrying guilt of ‘I should be…..’
Reconnect with those in your tribe that build you up. One positive face to face meeting and I am often raring to go.
Be accountable to myself, eat well, get to bed on time, use core grounding routines and rituals. Don’t bypass the basics, as it will only catch you out later.
Just listing these out and keeping them close will remind me for next time. Reading them through, or having a friend remind me, is all it takes to refocus and get back on track. I look East every morning, grateful for every sunrise bringing new energy, fresh choices and opportunities.
It’s never too late to begin making a positive change.
Thank you to all those supporting me.
Previous blogs on this personal transition can be found at:http://naturaledgecoachinguk.co.uk/blog/category/danish-delivery/